Why you cannot switch off after work, and the two minute breathwork reset that can help
I was having a conversation recently about stress.
My friend was explaining how hard he found it to switch off at the end of the day. Even after closing the laptop, work stayed in his head. The emails he had not replied to. The conversation that had not gone quite right. The meeting first thing tomorrow that he was already dreading.
And if he woke in the night, he was in real trouble.
He would replay conversations, rethink decisions and mentally run through the next day's to do list until sleep felt impossible. By the time morning came he was already exhausted before the day had even begun.
I listened and thought, how many people are living exactly like this right now?
I suspect, a lot of us.
We Leave Work. But Our Minds Do Not.
There is a particular kind of exhaustion that comes not from what we have done but from what we cannot stop thinking about.
We close the laptop. We walk away from the desk. We sit down with a cup of tea or pour a glass of wine and tell ourselves that we are done for the day.
But mentally? We are still there. Still in the meeting. Still composing the email. Still running through the list of everything that did not get finished and everything that needs to be done tomorrow.
This is not a discipline problem. It is not a matter of simply deciding to switch off. It is a physiological response. And understanding that changes everything.
What is Actually Happening in Your Body
When we are under pressure at work our body activates its stress response. Cortisol and adrenaline flood our system. Our heart rate increases. Our breathing becomes shallow. Our nervous system shifts into high alert.
This response was designed to help us survive genuine physical threats. But our bodies cannot tell the difference between a looming deadline and a looming predator. They respond the same way to both.
The problem is that for many of us this stress response never fully switches off. We carry it home. We carry it to the dinner table. We carry it to bed. And in the early hours of the morning when the house is quiet and there is nothing to distract us, it wakes us up and starts talking.
The Good News
Here is what most people do not know.
Your breath is the fastest and most direct route to your nervous system. And that means it is one of the most powerful tools you have for telling your body that the working day is over.
Not a glass of wine. Not an hour of scrolling. Not even a long bath, though all of these have their place.
Your breath.
And it takes just two minutes.
The Two Minute Breathwork Reset
This is a simple breathing technique called 4 to 6 breathing. It is one of the most effective tools I use and recommend for signalling to the body that it is time to shift from work mode to home mode.
Here is how to do it:
Breathe in for 4 seconds. Breathe out for 6 seconds. Repeat for 2 minutes.
That is it.
The longer exhale is the key. When your exhale is longer than your inhale it directly activates your parasympathetic nervous system, the part of your nervous system responsible for rest, recovery and calm. Within minutes your heart rate begins to slow. Cortisol starts to drop. Your body receives the signal it has been waiting for.
The working day is over. You are safe. You can rest.
When to Try It
The beauty of this technique is its simplicity. You can do it anywhere and at any time. But here are a few moments where it works particularly well:
The commute home. Whether you are on a train, in the car or walking, two minutes of 4 to 6 breathing creates a clear boundary between work and home before you even arrive.
Before dinner. Taking two minutes before you sit down to eat helps you arrive at the table present and relaxed rather than distracted and still mentally at your desk.
When you wake in the night. If your mind starts racing at 3am, reach for this before you reach for your phone. It is one of the most effective ways to calm an overactive mind and drift back to sleep.
At the end of your working day. Make it a ritual. Close the laptop, take two minutes and consciously mark the end of the working day with your breath.
A Final Thought
We do not have to accept that work stress is simply the price we pay for a busy life. Sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is pause, breathe out for a little longer than we breathe in and remind our body that it is allowed to rest.
Try it tonight. I would love to know how you get on.
Kerry Edwards is a conscious connected breathwork therapist working with individuals and groups online and in person. If you would like to explore what breathwork could do for your stress, anxiety or overall wellbeing, get in touch. Kerry would love to hear from you, email kerryjedwards@mac.com.